What does your company offer for grief support?

Have you loss a patient and couldn’t wrap your head around it?

Did you ever come to work and a patient died that you didn’t expect?

What did you do?

How did you feel?

How did you get over the pain of unexpected loss?

I remember when I was a new grad and I worked on a Med Surg floor. I had a Patient who was the same age as me. We both were in College and graduated at the same time. We both had the world ahead of us.

The difference for my patient was that they had Cystic Fibrosis. My patient was in and out of the unit so many times and always seemed to be able to beat any challenges. I was assigned to this patient during many of their admissions. I was always impressed by how happy my patient was even though the patient knew their lifespan was short. This patient really made an impression on me at a very young age.

This person was also the first patient that I loss unexpectantly. I took care of my patient on my assignment on a Friday. I knew that my patient was due to be discharged on Tuesday. I was so happy because my patient was doing so well. I came to work on Monday and all my coworkers were acting weird. I asked what was wrong but an airy silence was what I sensed.

I went to begin my day after receiving my assignment and thought it was strange that this patient wasn’t assigned to me since I had been assigned since admission and I was the primary nurse.

I decided to go to say good morning to my patient anyway but the room was empty. I went and asked my coworkers if my patient got discharged and they all looked at me very sadly. They didn’t know how to tell me that my patient had passed over the weekend.

I was devastated.

I didn’t expect my patient to die.

It wasn’t supposed to happen just yet.

I began to cry.

My manager tried to console me.

I even questioned if I should do this profession.

Losing someone was not new to me.

I was someone who already dealt with grief.

I loss my mom when I was 19.

I was at a loss. I thought why can’t I handle this.

I just thought this gift we call life was so fragile.

I am so glad that at that time in my life and career, I had supportive coworkers who helped me deal with the loss of my first patient. They helped me understand that even though it was unexpected it was expected for my patient. This patient knew that their disease process made even the simple tasks of life like being around family who may have a cold a risk. This patient took risks. This patient lived life to the best that of their ability with the cards that were dealt.

I don’t remember having any other support offered at the time to help us as staff cope with loss of patients at the time.

I got through this solely based on the support of a strong nurse manager and great coworkers.

We as nurses see the most vulnerable part of life. We see birth of a child, We see miracles that we never thought could be and we also see the darkest part of life.

Death.

Now it seems we have gotten better at helping staff cope.

The industry that I have focused my Career in , Long Term Care Nursing, does well with this at times. We do well with Hospice residents because it is a service Hospice offers. We have memory observance for residents we loss.

But what do we do over and above that?

Many companies have HR support group?

Does staff called that number?

I haven’t , have You?

I am interested in how you have coped with losing a patient.

What do you think would help staff be able to deal with such loss?

The information presented is informative and does not constitute direct legal or regulatory advice

September 2024\Skilled Nursing Support\maria.messina@skillednursingsupport.com

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